The Art of the Fresh Start
Podcast #12 — Aired January 2, 2014

Have you ever made a New Year's resolution only to forget about it in a matter of days? This week on BetterWorldians Radio we'll talk about how to make resolutions you can really keep. Our guest this week is “The Art of the Fresh Start” author and motivational speaker Glenna Salsbury. Glenna tells listeners the key to success with New Year's resolutions is really getting to know yourself and what you really want out life. Tune in every week to hear new guests share how they are making the world a better place and to learn how you can become a BetterWorldian!

 

 

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Glenna Salsbury
Author, The Art of the Fresh Start

As a professional speaker and consultant, Glenna Salsbury provides keynotes and seminars nationally and internationally. Bubbling with enthusiasm, high energy and humor, Glenna’s topics include leadership, change and quality performance. Her client list is comprised of many Fortune 500 companies and numerous associations. Glenna graduated from Northwestern University and holds a Masters Degree from UCLA and a Masters from Fuller Seminary. Glenna has appeared on Good Morning America, the ABC Mike and Maty Show and is a well-known author, appearing in the New York Times Bestseller, Chicken Soup for the Soul. She is also the author of her own bestseller, The Art of the Fresh Start.

Episode Transcript

Raymond Hansell
Glenna has also appeared on Good Morning America, the ABC Mike and Maty show and is a well-known author, appearing in the New York Times Bestseller, Chicken Soup for the Soul. She is also the author of her own bestseller, which well be talking a great deal about today, The Art of the Fresh Start. What a great subject to kick off the New Year, The Art of the Fresh Start. Glenna, welcome to the BetterWorldians show!

Glenna Salsbury
Well, Im thrilled to join you, Ray, and MarySue and Greg. Its my joy.

Raymond Hansell
Well, its really its really great to have you on board. Now, weve been weve been doing a lot of hallmark and background on you, and it seems youve made a career out of encouraging people to find out who they are and to live their best live. So Id like to begin by asking how did this all start for you. How did you become a motivational speaker? Walk us through that, if you would.

Glenna Salsbury
Well, I grew up in a little town in the Midwest in Chillicothe, Illinois, right, and my father sold life insurance, and he was a serial entrepreneur as well. And I was always impressed with the fact that he communicated with people in such a way that they responded. And I was writing a paper on him my senior year in high school on my most unforgettable character. And I asked him the question, Dad, whats your purpose in life. And he answered me with this statement. He said, my purpose in life is to make other people glad they saw me. And he went on to say, that way, I dont have to sell a life insurance policy to fulfill my purpose every single day. And that piece of wisdom was really transformational for me because I saw that it was working in his life every day, that he would greet the gruff postmaster with warm words of encouragement, and the postmaster would light up. And I discovered in my own life, day by day, that if you have encouraging words and a heartfelt love for people, that its the greatest gift you can give them, but it comes back to you.

Raymond Hansell
Yes, it does. It is very true. Your story yourself goes all the way back to 1977. From what Ive read, youve wrote down all the changes that you wanted to see happen in your life, and one by one, they came true. So tell us about that.

Glenna Salsbury
Well, Ill tell you just backing up a bit before that, Ray, is just how I got started as a speaker. At 21 years old, thats my senior year in Northwestern University was wrapping up, I had a major faith experience, and I found that that was a really important piece for me to communicate to others. And so I began instantly at 21 talking to people about their faith, and ultimately, from 1959 to 1977, I was teaching the Bible to 1,500 women a week and about 900 men. And it was a thrilling thing to see peoples lives changed. But then I went through a divorce in 1977, and they were not looking for divorced Bible teachers, and so I needed to change direction and moved from a volunteer speaking to actually getting a job. And so during that time, I went looking for a job and became the training director for a huge real estate company in California. And I began speaking in such a way that I learned how to simply hold an audience and give them content, as well as interesting information. But in the process, I heard a man speak by the name of Lou Tice (ph) from the Pacific Northwest, and he talked about a formula. And our listeners, I think, could really profit from thinking about this. The formula was I x V = R which for him is imagination mixed with vividness equals reality. And he was talking about the fact that we move toward that which we think about. The brain thinks in pictures, not in words. And so I was really ready for some new things in my life so I decided in 1977 I would act on I x V = R, and I took my prayer list and turned it into pictures. I thought it would be really great to get married again to some wonderful man so I cut out a picture of a good-looking man. And then, Im a romanticist so I cut out pictures of flowers and thought wouldnt it be great to be showered with flowers. And then I rationalized just a little. I said David and Solomon were two of the richest men who ever lived, and God loved them anyway. So with that rationalization, I cut out pictures of diamonds and put them in my book and several other things, a trip to the Caribbean, and so on. And I just stood on the fact that that was important to me, and I was able to identify what was important. And I think thats the critical piece, Ray, is theres no power in the pictures, but to be very clear about whats important to us is the first step in moving forward in a positive way in our life. And cutting out pictures simply causes you to become clear about what it is thats important to you. And six or eight weeks after I had cut out my pictures, I was driving down a California freeway at 10 oclock in the morning might be my own business, and a beautiful red and white Cadillac hardtop went by. And I looked at the car because it was a beautiful car, and the driver looked at me and smiled, and I smiled because I smile. Well, he followed me for the next 15 miles and scared me to death. So when I got to my off-ramp, I did not signal my light, dove off the freeway, and he dove off the freeway right behind me. And I drove a few blocks. He drove a few blocks. I parked. He parked. And I married him. The process of that was really quite amazing because the first date we had, the next day, he sent me a dozen red roses. And there was my book, the flowers in my book. And while we dated for two years, he sent me a long-stemmed red rose every Monday with a love note attached to it. And so that was very fine. Then after about 10 months of dating, I found out he had a hobby. His hobby was collecting diamonds.

Raymond Hansell
Geez.

Glenna Salsbury
Big ones, and he was looking for someone to decorate. So I volunteered for that.

Raymond Hansell
(Audio distortion) So all these things that you cut pictures out, you might actually be said that you are in the early stage of what later became in the industry known as a vision board.

Glenna Salsbury
Absolutely.

Raymond Hansell
And so you actually took these and you fabriced (ph) them together and then began to see as you dwelled on them, your thought process that comes reality. You see that as the same thing as setting goals?

Glenna Salsbury
Very similar. I think we mix it up in a negative way because setting goals, I think, contains the germ of the possibility that its not going to happen. But the vision board and the I x V = R is a much more positive, clarifying step to take, than to say, Im going to set goals. Its more about identifying whats important and focusing on those elements in particular. And so I just, terminology wise, I think its more powerful to picture than simply to say, I want to clarify. So the interesting thing, you know, physiologically, the brain builds a scotoma or a blind spot to anything thats not important to us and brings into our vision those things that are. So if I say, Id like to take a trip to somewhere warm. Well, there arent any places in the travel logs for somewhere warm. But if I say, Id really like to go to Maui for a month, thats specific. So if I say Im going to set a goal to travel, now I need to be specific and get a picture of where that would be so the visioning is really a powerful way to approach it, even just with the words, the verbiage, that we use.

Raymond Hansell
Okay. So our show today is about New Years resolutions, and theres some interesting statistics regarding those resolutions. According to a survey weve encountered, only about eight percent of New Years resolutions, you could call these goals or goal setting for the new year are successful. Now, why do you think that is, only eight percent?

Glenna Salsbury
Yes. I think the primary reason why its not successful is that normally, we make New Years resolutions that are based on the negative. I want to lose weight so that means I have to diet. I want to quit smoking. I want there are negative pictures, as opposed to positive pictures. For instance, if I say, Id like to lose weight, thats one thing. But if I say, my goal in 2014 is to eat fish four times a week, I will lose weight, in my case, because I love red meat. But in other words, we dont have success because were resisting that very thing that were trying to overcome because theres a battle going on within us. There is a cognitive distance over I should quit smoking, but Im still smoking, or a shouldnt eat this, but I am eating it, as opposed to getting very clear about heres some new things I want to bring into my life.

Raymond Hansell
Okay. All right. Well, were going to take a break right now. Id like to offer this challenge in the meantime to our listeners, and well be back in a short while to talk more about the how-tos and some of the pitfalls and some of the and some of the successes with Glenna in a minute. But in the meantime, if you know someone whose small acts, no matter how small, are making a difference in the lives of other people, wed love to hear about them. Please tweet us at #BetterWorldians so we can let the BetterWorldian community know. Well talk more with Glenna when we come back. You can learn more at betterworldians.com, and follow our live tweets at twitter.com/betterworldians. Well be right back now. >> Be part of a miracle this holiday season. Visit colorwithkindness.com and watch an uplifting, two-minute video that illustrates the power of kindness. When the video reaches 1 million views, funds will be released to CURE International for surgeries enabling 10 kids to walk for the first time. CURE is the largest provider of reconstructive surgery to disabled children in the emerging world. Give these kids the gift of a lifetime. Watch and share the video at colorwithkindness.com. >> Listen for MD Radio on the VoiceAmerica Variety Channel. >> Thats Muscular Development Radio. >> Every Monday, your host, Shawn Ray, will take you inside the world of bodybuilding and health and fitness. The show will feature Hall of Fame bodybuilders, trainers, judges, and the future champions of tomorrow. Plus, youll be invited to participate in our call-in ask the pros feature, and our nutritional spotlight will feature products that can help you achieve your fitness goals. MD Radio is broadcast live Mondays at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific on the VoiceAmerica Variety Channel. >> How can we make it a better world? >> I think we can make it a better world if we had peace among each other. >> Everybody needs to help their neighbor, and then itll spread from then on. >> I should do more. >> I could do more. >> I spend so much time on Facebook. >> How much time do I spend on Facebook? >> Probably more than I should be spending. >> I would definitely give back if I could find the time. >> Now, you can help others just by playing a game on Facebook. Its called A Better World. Share your hopes and dreams. Do good deeds. Make a difference and have fun. Become a BetterWorldian. Join a community where all good deeds get rewarded. Log in today to find out how you can make a difference every day. >> For more information, visit facebook.com/abetterworld. >> The Internets number one talk station. >> Number one talk station. >> VoiceAmerica.com.

Raymond Hansell
Hi. Were back with motivational speaker and author, Glenna Salsbury. Well have more with Glenna in a minute in a moment, but first, wed like to share some big news here at BetterWorldians Radio. Weve recently launched, as many of you know, a worldwide kindness campaign. Were challenging BetterWorldians around the globe to watch a 2-minute video that illustrates the power of kindness. When it reaches a million views, well release funds for surgeries that will allow ten kids in the developing world to walk for the first time. Please, watch the video. Share it with friends at colorwithkindness.com. Thats colorwithkindness.com. And now lets welcome back Glenna and MarySue.

MarySue Hansell
Hi, Glenna. Before the break, we were talking about New Years resolutions and why theyre often so hard to keep. In your book The Art of the Fresh Start, you talk about the importance in figuring out who you are before deciding what changes youd like to make. Why is that, Glenna?

Glenna Salsbury
Well, I think sometimes we dont do enough reflective thinking, MarySue. And each one of us is one of a kind and unique so I think to understand whats really important to you in your life, for instance, and then this way, I mean, practical things. Like for some people, health is the most important thing for them. For someone else, adventure may be very important. For others, it may be travel, family, but to figure out what your top five most important elements happen to be for you to live a meaningful life because once you come to that, you see how unique your life is. For instance, my oldest daughter, among her five were faith, family, structure, control, and leisure. Now, that will determine a lot about your life. If you need structure and if you need to be doing a job, have a career thats got some control involved in it, whereas my youngest daughter said faith, family, risk, adventure, and challenge. And she ended up in South Africa for 14 years and driving on the wrong side of the road. But the difference in people so it would be very important when using those examples, my oldest daughter, Monica, set her years goals or desires, she needs to be building in some leisure, or shes going to be stressed and unhappy. Michelle, the youngest one, on the other hand, would need to be building in a plan for adventure during the year. And so if we know whats very important to us, then well set goals related to those things that are congruent with our own value system. Does that make sense?

MarySue Hansell
Yes, it does. It sounds like good advice. Some people get confused. How do you think they should figure out who they are?

Glenna Salsbury
Yes. I think the greatest way to figure it out is ask yourself what do I love to do, and what gives me the most joy in life. Because if you say, well, you know, I just love helping people; maybe you want to look for a place to serve in a new way. Or you may say, I love animals, and I want to build into my life more time to invest in supporting a cause for animals or training your own dog, whatever it is, you need to know what do I love to do, and what gives me the most joy. What brings joy and satisfaction to your life? Some people will say having quiet time and reading. Well, do you have a list of books that youd like to read this year, and will you read 12 pages a day in order to break it down in small steps and actually accomplish your goal?

MarySue Hansell
You know, there are some things that stand in the way of figuring out what changes we really want to make. You call that mental bondage in your book. Can you tell our listeners what that means and how to overcome it?

Glenna Salsbury
Yes. Well, mental bondage includes having a lack of vision. There are a lot of people, and theyve done psychological studies on this, that tend to focus on their past, regrets, pain, loss, disappointment. Living in the past will create a cloud of depression over your life. And even just living in the present keeps you in a kind of mental bondage because youre only getting through today. And so the best way out of that kind of bondage is to create a vision for the future. People who are future-oriented, psychologically, are happier. They have a greater sense of fulfillment. And part of it is we just get into a habit. Mental bondage usually comes out of habit. For instance, some people have the bondage of having to turn on the television first thing in the morning or when they walk in the door at 6 oclock at night, and it never goes off. Well, theres a bondage in that you do it repeatedly, and its not adding anything to your life, and, in many cases, actually causes you to be tired and worn out so to do some reflective thinking about what is it that Id like to have more of and looking to the future, how will I create that.

MarySue Hansell
You know, Glenna, weve talked to a lot of guests who talk a lot about some type of meditation being a very important part of bringing out the best in you as a person, whether it be prayer, quiet time, or deep breathing. How do you see that fitting into making a fresh start?

Glenna Salsbury
Well, I think its essential, MarySue, for a couple reasons. You know, theres a great Psalm written by King David, the Psalmist, that says that if you delight yourself in the Lord, He gives you the desires of your heart. So meditation or, in my case, whats important to me is sitting quietly in prayer and seeing what is it thats the desire of my heart and listening. I think many times, we dont understand that meditation or prayer is really about being still and knowing that I am God. Its that quietness. And often, the fresh thoughts that we havent taken the time to let pass through our heart and mind come to us when were quiet. So I think its really important, and deep breathing is a way to quiet everything in us, and it also is healthy, of course. But deep breathing brings you into a place of quietness, and to practice just letting distractions pass right on through your mind and continue to practice relaxing, which is what deep breathing is really all about. But I find its critical and related to that, MarySue, is I find that journaling is a marvelous way to be able to be contemplatives and not be distracted. And I dont mean keeping a diary. I mean to just sit down regularly, may not be every morning, but anytime I can, I sit down, and Ive been doing it since 1962, with my pen and my journal. I get a new journal every year, and just meditate and comment in writing on whats important to me, what might be bothering me. Its a kind of a dumping ground for whining so that I dont do that with other people. And its a way to clear my mind and then be able to say, whats important to me today and get focused.

MarySue Hansell
(Audio distortion). I dont think most people think of journaling as a part of meditation. As a matter of fact, I think Ill try that. I love to be -

Glenna Salsbury
Its so powerful.

MarySue Hansell
You know, theres a great story in your book, which talks about accepting challenges in your life in order to figure out your lifes purpose. You talk about your husbands struggle with dyslexia as a child. Can you tell us that story?

Glenna Salsbury
Well, you know, sometimes I think we think we need to be all things to all people, or we focus on our weaknesses instead of our strengths, and I think its important to remember that every single one of us is one of a kind, our DNA, one of a kind, even identical twins, one of a kind. The iris of our eye contains uniquely to each of us our physiological experiences in life. The nerve centers are shown up in the iris of your eye so knowing how unique you are. My husband, Jim, suffered from serious dyslexia and had trouble reading, and when he was in school, they didnt recognize dyslexia like one would today so he did not do well in school at all. But he was a marvelous athlete. He was both a gymnast and a football player which is an unusual combination. And he learned to focus on what he was very gifted at which was sports. And out of it, he became an All-American at UCLA. He went on to play with the Green Bay Packers and the Detroit Lions. But he recognized that he was never going to be a student, per se. And so when he needed it to just get through school, he would go get tutors, but meanwhile, he didnt sit around saying, I could never be a success because I have dyslexia. Its saying, okay. This is something I am not good at, but over here is what Im really good at. Let me develop that.

MarySue Hansell
Great. Yes. I love that story. I know he won the he was in the Football Hall of Fame, wasnt he?

Glenna Salsbury
He was, and he was a Pro Bowler. He was picked for the Pro bowl. Yes, yes he was. And Red Sanders who is the coach at UCLA when Jim played football there said he was the most gifted athlete hed ever worked with. And I think that came out of a focus on his strengths and his determination to see it as a challenge to be really good at what he was good at and to let the rest of it go by.

MarySue Hansell
Now, what do you see as the take-away here for our listeners as they consider their resolutions for the new year?

Glenna Salsbury
Well, I think the most practical take-away, MarySue, is for them to actually write down a couple of questions that I mentioned earlier. What do I love to do? What would I like more of in my life? And what elements in my life give me the most joy? Because if you take those three questions and journal about your own inner answers, listen to see what comes up for you, you will begin to know how to set your goals to get a picture of meaningful change that you would not have if you just say, what do I want to do this year or what do I want to quit doing.

MarySue Hansell
Yes, yes. You know, I love that story that you were telling about your dad and about he always wanted people to be happy when they saw him. How did he do that?

Glenna Salsbury
Well, you know, I think its one of the things he discovered because he was in sales that there is a personal satisfaction in learning peoples names, looking them in the eye, asking them about themselves. He discovered his own personal joy in that, and I think that was what what his discovery and he, in turn, caused it to become a written purpose in his life. And I would challenge our listeners to actually ask yourself this question: What is my purpose in life and see if you can get it into one sentence. I often think of parents who are working hard and trying to look after their kids, and I wonder if your kids said to you, gee, Mom, whats your purpose in life, whether or not you could answer that question because being able to answer that question will drive how you live each day. If you ask me whats my purpose in life, my purpose in life is to ignite the spark of faith and love in the lives of all who know me, family first. And I can do that everywhere. I was in Atlanta some time ago, and I needed to get a cab to get to the airport. The taxi came and I jumped in the back seat, and as we pulled away from the curb, I said to the cab driver, tell me what your long-term goals in life are. I dont think his last passenger had asked that question. And once he realized I was really interested, he said, well, my long-term desire is to compose classical music, but he said, I have a wife and a three-year-old little girl, and theyre my primary responsibilities. Well, all the way to the airport, I told him the power of prayer, and I encouraged him to get pictures of what that would look like when he was a composer. So when we got to the airport, he pulled up in front of the terminal and he jumped out of the cab, came around, opened the back door, lifted me off the back seat of a cab, gave me this gigantic bear hug, and he had two huge tears running down his face. And he said, lady, you have changed my life.

MarySue Hansell
Wow!

Raymond Hansell
Wow!

Glenna Salsbury
Well, now, Ill tell you who got the greater blessing there. It was I. You know, thats the part that I learned from my dad that if you live out because I want to encourage people, that igniting a spark of hope in him, a spark of faith, gave me joy.

Raymond Hansell
Yeah. The giver - the giver in that sake is the receiver. Isnt it true?

Glenna Salsbury
Always, always, Ray. Its so true.

Raymond Hansell
Yeah. I just wanted to make a comment about the story with your dad. It reminds me of when I hear some of the hosting presentations on his show. Hell frequently say that setback, in this case the setback of your husbands struggle that set him back a bit, set him up. It set him up to do such amazing things as an athlete. And, effectively, you know, we just need to sometimes be patient to see that unfold.

Glenna Salsbury
That is absolutely true.

Raymond Hansell
Well, well be right back. In a few more minutes, were going to talk more with Glenna Salsbury about how to make and keep those New Years resolutions so lets just take a short break and well be right back. >> How can we make it a better world? >> I think we can make it a better world if we had peace among each other. >> Everybody needs to help their neighbor, and then itll spread from then on. >> I should do more. >> I could do more. >> I spend so much time on Facebook. >> How much time do I spend on Facebook? >> Probably more than I should be spending. >> I would definitely give back if I could find the time. >> Now, you can help others just by playing a game on Facebook. Its called A Better World. Share your hopes and dreams. Do good deeds. Make a difference and have fun. Become a BetterWorldian. Join a community where all good deeds get rewarded. Log in today to find out how you can make a difference every day. >> For more information, visit facebook.com/abetterworld. >> Are you a single parent trying to create a balance between home life and work life? You may be running a successful business, but how are your relationships with your family and children? If youre one of the thousands of people trying to juggle it all, tune into Straight Up with Chris, real talk on business and parenthood hosted by Chris Efessiou. Chris is the portrait of the success story. Coming to the US with no language skills, founding and growing several businesses while raising his daughter from age 7 to adulthood as a single dad. Listen every Thursday at 6 PM Eastern, 3 PM Pacific on VoiceAmerica Variety. >> Be part of a miracle this holiday season. Visit colorwithkindness.com and watch an uplifting, two-minute video that illustrates the power of kindness. When the video reaches 1 million views, funds will be released to CURE International for surgeries enabling 10 kids to walk for the first time. CURE is the largest provider of reconstructive surgery to disabled children in the emerging world. Give these kids the gift of a lifetime. Watch and share the video at colorwithkindness.com. >> Stimulating talk. >> It gets those synapses in the brain firing really fast. >> All the time. >> The number one Internet talk station where your opinion counts. >> Voiceamerica.com.

Raymond Hansell
Hi, this is Ray Hansell, and youre listening to BetterWorldians Radio. Were back now with author and motivational speaker, Glenna Salsbury.

Gregory Hansell
Hi Glenna, this is Greg.

Glenna Salsbury
Hi, Greg.

Gregory Hansell
So, you know, weve learned a lot so far about the steps to take before setting a resolution, and I want to talk a bit more about, you know, deciding on a change to make in your life. You know, your book talks a lot about really big goals, leading a more purposeful life, having more fulfilling relationships, stuff like that. You know, how do we figure out how to choose those big goals? Youve talked a bit about that, but Im hoping you could say more.

Glenna Salsbury
Yes. Well, you know, I think the big goals then drive us to know what our little goals can be. For instance, if my big goal is to learn more, to read more, to become more aware of whats going on in the world, that can be a very big goal. In my case, for instance, one of my five values is ideas and knowledge. Well, if thats a big goal and a big, important value in my life, thats absolutely critical to my daily joy. But now, I have to figure out how to do that. What does that mean? What will that look like for a month at a time or a day at a time, a week at a time? But the big goals you have to start with in order to really know how to break it down in steps that allow you to accomplish what the big picture is in your life.

Gregory Hansell
Right, right. So, I mean, because I was actually going to ask you, you know, what about people that have, you know, the smaller, more simpler goals, but you really do feel that you really have to make those big goals possible in your mind. You have to know where youre going.

Glenna Salsbury
I think so. I think you have to have a clear map. And, you know, its the old adage if Im going from Arizona to Florida, I really need to know Im going to Florida before I know what highway to get on. You know, its not enough to say, well, Id really like to travel. Let me just get in the car.

Gregory Hansell
Sure.

Glenna Salsbury
You know, I could spend a lot of time in places I didnt want to be.

Gregory Hansell
Thats great. I mean, do you want to tell the people at home then that those smaller resolutions arent really making in the sense of they should really be looking at, you know, getting to Florida.

Glenna Salsbury
Yes. And, you know, that goes back, Greg, to the concept of knowing what your values are because if travel is one of your values, then Florida might be a big subgoal under travel.

Gregory Hansell
Right.

Glenna Salsbury
But its important to start with the big picture. People who want to be, for instance, I think a lot of our listeners would agree with this, most of us want to be healthier -

Gregory Hansell
Yeah.

Glenna Salsbury
whatever that looks like. You know, to be healthy is a big goal. But sometimes what happens is we say, so that means I need to join the gym, or I need to buy a treadmill, or I need to well, maybe and maybe not. Maybe, I need to ask one more question which is: Am I motivated to go to a gym. Will I actually get on the treadmill? Or would it be better, in my case, to do floor exercises in my own bedroom and just work a little bit at a time and then incrementally increase the amount or the commitment that Im making? I think sometimes, we take the big goal, but we havent figured out, in a practical way, what am I really going to do about that.

Gregory Hansell
Right. Right. Well, I think thats a good point. You know, I mean, my next question was: Whats your advice, you know, to sticking to those goals. You know, Im a big cheese and wine guy. I tried to lose a few pounds, but I cant really give up the cheese and wine, you know -

Glenna Salsbury
Exactly.

Gregory Hansell
to do that. How would you advise me to stick to those goals?

Glenna Salsbury
Thats awesome. Thats such a great example. Im a big cheese and wine girl, too, myself.

Gregory Hansell
We should have cheese and wine together.

Glenna Salsbury
Yes. So I say to myself, eat more oatmeal because I dont really like oatmeal, but it will do the job for getting me moving in the morning so that Ive given myself the right to have cheese and wine. Because normally what we say is I have to give up cheese.

Gregory Hansell
Right, right.

Glenna Salsbury
And that lasts for at least a week.

Gregory Hansell
Youre better than I am then.

Glenna Salsbury
Well, that was hopeful. But Ill tell you the other piece that I think is very helpful is to be sure youve written out what your big goals are and then to review what youve written out every single day. Have them placed somewhere where you can see these are the five things Im working on this year. For instance, one of my five things that Im working on this year is a statement that I read by Steve Jobs. He was talking about principles of success, and he made the statement that what will you say no to this year in order to make time to what youll say yes to and enhance your life. And so if I remind myself every day Ive got that on my goals list, learn to say no. What will you say no to, Glenda, today? Then, that gives me room to bring into my life those things that I would like to accomplish and get rid of some things that really arent helping me. But reviewing your list on a daily basis and really being conscious, and I mean that word intentionally, conscious, just be aware of what it is that youre working on. And its amazing. It becomes a part of your thinking process every single day.

Gregory Hansell
Yeah. Yeah, I think thats great to review it, to review it every day to remind yourself what your goals really are. I have to tell you, though, the when you said that about the learn what you want to say no to, I had a little epiphany there. I thought that was incredibly insightful. I think thats great for a lot of people. Its not just knowing, you know, going after what you want to go after, but its knowing what you need to cease.

Glenna Salsbury
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think its harder and harder in todays world to say no. I read a couple of articles recently, and you may well be familiar, that theres a new problem afoot called fomo, f-o-m-o which is the fear of missing out.

Gregory Hansell
Yeah.

Glenna Salsbury
So people are in a competitive mode all the time. And so they have to hurry to see how many people are following them on Twitter and how big their Facebook following is. And the thing is if thats important to you, great. But I have on my list say no to TV. I dont have any interest in TV other than football. I confess a weakness there. But to recognize because Id rather get a good nights sleep in order to do the things that are important to me. But I just want to review that statement again because it was so important as I read it. What will I say no to this year? And its about time, in particular. Its not saying no to cheese. Its about time. Its about what am I doing with my time because were only going through here once, and were probably not going to get out alive so time is really critical. Go ahead.

Gregory Hansell
I was just going to say Im glad were not saying no to cheese. Otherwise, wed have to end the broadcast. You know, I did want to ask you. You know, I know some people, and this maybe even applies to me, have the same resolution year after year. And I want to know do you think thats a good thing that you want to keep trying at it, or, you know, you should just change it up.

Glenna Salsbury
I think both are true. I think that if I want to maintain my weight, I need to stay focused on being healthy every year. Thats a meaningful commitment. I also think that we need to expand our life experience with some fresh ideas, to ask yourself what have I always wanted to do that I havent done. And it might be listen to great music. I tend to be so busy that I dont turn on great music, but music really lifts me. So I bought a specific piece of equipment that I can set it where I can reach it and put in a CD and do that intentionally. And so its saying, this is what I really need to build into my life.

Gregory Hansell
Yeah. Well, heres something interesting that came up when we were doing the background on the show. We heard about this new trend where people decide to set a resolution for every month of the year. So this month, Ill read a book every week, next month no soda every week, that kind of thing. What do you think about that approach?

Glenna Salsbury
I think that really goes along with what were talking about, having a fresh idea. I think its a fresh way, and it gives you a new, fresh start every month or every week or even every day. Like one of the things that I love so much about the BetterWorldians world of looking at the world is to say what can I do for one person today as a gift to that person.

Gregory Hansell
Thank you.

Glenna Salsbury
That you know, its powerful. I came home the other night, and I had this beautiful sparkling wreath on my front door. I had no idea who brought that to me. And it was really spectacular, and it was a gift without anybody taking responsibility for having done it, you know. And I think its just the little things that we can do. And I just want to summarize, too, another helpful thought is in terms of keeping us meditative in our outlook and conscious is what if I woke up today with only those things for which I gave thanks yesterday.

Gregory Hansell
Thats amazing. I like that a lot.

Glenna Salsbury
Well, it keeps us focused, doesnt it, on whats really important.

Gregory Hansell
Yeah. I like that a lot. So thats kind of an ancient, philosophical idea of living your life so that if at the end you had to repeat it over and over again, you know, for eternity, and I think this is a version of that. You know, if every day you had to wake up, you know, just to have what you were thankful for the previous day, it would definitely lead us down a path to a, you know, more gratitude and probably more positive lifestyle.

Glenna Salsbury
Absolutely. I really believe that. Theres a wonderful book called 1000 Gifts by a woman by the name of Ann Voskamp. Its V-o-s-k-a-m-p. It came out last year, but shes a Canadian, and she writes. She lives on a farm, and she writes about the little things that matter when youre just giving thanks for whats important to you.

Gregory Hansell
Well, I have one more question for you before we take some listener questions, and I hope you dont mind me putting you on the spot. But did you make a New Years resolution this year, Glenna?

Glenna Salsbury
Yes, actually I did. Yes, I did. And youre going to laugh, but early on, its eat more fish. Another one is saying no to those things that are not critical to my joy.

Gregory Hansell
Thats great.

Glenna Salsbury
Another one is plan restoration days for every month in 2014 beginning now.

Gregory Hansell
Thats great. Whats a restoration day?

Glenna Salsbury
To be able to have time to read a good book, to take a long walk, to play, to not be caught up in the everyday, mundane ought-to list.

Gregory Hansell
Sure. Sure. And I think thats great advice for everybody. I think a few people could use those resolutions if they, of course, matched up with their big goals. Ill take some questions from the listeners if you dont mind. We have an email from Jenn in New York. Jenn asks: Im still having trouble coming up with a resolution, but I know Id like to feel more successful at work in the new year, pardon me. Any ideas on how to decide on a goal?

Glenna Salsbury
Well, Ill tell you the greatest answer to that, in my opinion, is to find out the personal stories of all the people with whom you work.

Gregory Hansell
Thats interesting.

Glenna Salsbury
To really -- tell me about yourself. Oh, gosh, I didnt know you had a son in college. Whats hes studying? How do you feel about that? The minute you discover other peoples stories, theres an actual emotional connection that enhances your own work experience.

Gregory Hansell
Thats great. Thats great. You know, its actually interesting. One of my goals for the year is empathy. I think thats one way in which you can develop empathy for people is to obviously just learn more about them and see them more as a living, breathing person in front of you, you know.

Glenna Salsbury
Absolutely. Two of my bywords for living is: Display your enthusiasm which means smile and tune into people. Everybodys level of enthusiasm isnt the same, but whatever your level is, be enthusiastic. And the other one is: Ask questions and listen to the answers. People have fascinating stories. And even the people that you think you dont you really get along with very well, one of the quickest ways to learn how to get along with them is to find out what their story is.

Gregory Hansell
Right.

Glenna Salsbury
Because empathy comes.

Gregory Hansell
Im sorry. I hope you dont mind me interrupting you. I want to get one more question in from Jodi from Minnesota because we love the listeners at home that know that we are out here for them, too, you know. Jodi wants to know what questions do you suggest we ask ourselves in order to make a meaningful resolution. We only about have about a minute for this, unfortunately.

Glenna Salsbury
I think it goes back, Greg, to what do I love to do, and what do I want more of in my life. If you write down the answers to those, youll know what you need to build into your life this year.

Gregory Hansell
And you think that meditation and prayer are some of the best ways to help do that?

Glenna Salsbury
I do, and I think related to that is the journaling process. When you write, your mind has to focus much more than if you just sit and attempt to meditate. Writing brings your physical being, as well as your mental being, into alignment. And I mean hand written, not on your computer.

Gregory Hansell
Sure. Thats an interesting point. I dont think we had made that clear. You think really writing them out by hand makes a difference.

Glenna Salsbury
It does. It connects your brain and your physical being.

Raymond Hansell
Okay. This has been extremely insightful, Glenna. We really appreciate all the work that youre doing for all the BetterWorldians in the world. Theres a lot of thought, a lot of stuff you can really chew on here and do. Its not, you know, its not some amazing its just really thoughtful work. So you can find out more about Glennas work by going to her website at glennasalsbury.com. Glenna, once again, wed like to thank you for joining us on BetterWorldians Radio today.

Glenna Salsbury
It was my joy and pleasure. Have a blessed new year.

Gregory Hansell
Thank you, Glenna.

Raymond Hansell
Thank you.

MarySue Hansell
Thank you, Glenna.

Glenna Salsbury
You bet.

Raymond Hansell
Please join us next week for our show Hardwiring Happiness - thats hard to get out - with author, Dr. Rick Hanson. Weve got an excellent lineup of guests in the coming weeks, and if you know an unsung BetterWorldian who would make a great guest on our show, you can send us an email at radio@betterworldians.com. Once again, we want to continue to encourage you to be part of a miracle during this overarching holiday season. Simply share our video challenge and help heal ten disabled children. Its that easy. Just go to colorwithkindness.com. Please watch the video. Share it with your friends, and give these kids the gift of a lifetime. Wed like to wish all of you a very happy New Year to all of our listeners from all of us here at BetterWorldians Radio. Thank you for everyone. Thank you everyone today for listening. You can join the BetterWorldian community at betterworldians.com. Until next time, please be a BetterWorldian.